I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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