I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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