Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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