I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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