Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize