so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize