worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
