Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Your cock deserves a montage
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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