i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Houston, we have a blender
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
