Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
