I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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