Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
