i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
