dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
