look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
