I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
