we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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