it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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