If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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