What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
