You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
