you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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