Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
