Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
