They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
