I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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