i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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