The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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