Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
