he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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