Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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