I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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