i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
