Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
