Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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