I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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