All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh god it's open bar.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
