She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize