(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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