I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You're like the curious george of whores
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
