I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
