Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
