he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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