ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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