No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
