he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
