It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
