She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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