I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
