You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
